To be fair, I have lost my mind decades ago and it’s an ongoing struggle to claw bits of it back while other pieces slip away again, often to dread of the world as it presents itself.
It’s not a pretty picture. After 9/11 and the aughts, here in the states we learned to stop hoping for anything. If nothing else, the climate crisis continues to accelerate while plutocrats pressure nations to do fuck all about it. In our lifetime, we expect a population correction (mostly a lot of famine) and societies everywhere will just fall apart. And every day is realizing that the people who raised us and taught us and baptized us all betrayed us, telling us that their system is the one that works, that is worth defending, even as it heads towards inevitable collapse.
The same kind of existential dread informed Albert Camus, who watched WWII play out, which informed his own existential outlook, that we seek to find meaning in a meaningless existence. Imagine Sisyphus, happy he suggests. Whether we’re lugging a rock, or seeking some kind of higher purpose, or fighting the ideological menace of hatred, we might as well get good at it. Curiously, this means by waking up every day, you’re doing the thing. You’re taking on the challenges of the absurd and not losing. And to be fair, many people choose not to take this route, if not killing themselves, then commuting philosophical suicide – that is taking a leap of faith, whether in Jesus’ heaven, the shiny and chrome Valhalla of V8 or seeking to evade the torments of Roko’s Basilisk.
I wake up. Day ruined.
Sounds like you could use a vacation
I hate it when that happens.
Original unmodified image source?
do you think I know lmao, I stole this meme off tiktok like everything else lol
I wanna know too
pet pet pet
Try to hold onto wanting things to get better instead of wanting them to end!
[‘they are the same picture’ meme]
Jokes aside, it’s something that has helped me a lot. I used to pray to die in accidents, to wish that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning, etc. But really, what I wanted was for the pain and emptiness and shittiness to stop. So why not wish for that instead? Either way the bad stuff stops but not wanting to die would be nice. It’s hard, it’s a choice you have to make every time, not just once, but it does help. Or at least it helped me. And if things are extra shitty, you’re actively having an emotional crash and you start wishing to die again, it’s ok. You haven’t lost any progress, it’s not something to feel guilty about. When it’s over, just keep trying to choose better. You don’t always have to be moving, just try to keep facing in the right direction. I’m not saying “oh just choose to be better duh” like some fucking asshole, just that I’ve found that if you don’t actively want things to be better, they won’t be.
I’m at the point (…have been for several years) that I want it to be better, but it’s way too much fucking work, for a paltry amount of benefit. Why do the work of 100 men for the paycheck of 1? It’s very illogical; and I get ‘but it can be better’ - yeah, it “can”, and I “can” find a billion dollars in a sack on the sidewalk, but it’s not probable, so why get excited for something that is likely not to happen?
This isn’t shooting down what you said - I just feel like a lost cause. I don’t want to bother others, I can’t even find a reason to bother myself. I’m tied to an anchor and letting others throw me a life preserver feels like giving others false hope that they can help me, which makes me feel even worse.
Some people have awful lives. I just got the short stick this round. It’s alright.
It’s alright. You’ll still have your non-fucking mind.
