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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • Hmm, I think I experience something like euphoria (maybe excitement?) when I dress in feminine clothes or take on feminine roles.

    When I was a child, I was very cross with the whole concept of gender. I thought for a long time that intersex people were more common (I assumed genitals were more random at a young age); the fact I was sort of stuck with the “boys” really annoyed me. I wanted to do everything with everyone, and I really despised being forced into a social box. I would dream 33/33/33 as a girl/boy/other, and often characters would have mixtures of primary and secondary sexual characteristics.

    I think I’m sort of non gendered, I suppose. In my mid 20s I started meeting lots of trans musicians, and I really dug their music / art. I felt like it really spoke to me, but what’s odd is I didn’t feel like I wanted to transition. I just wanted gender not to exist.

    I’m supportive, of course, of my friends transitioning. For me, I’m not sure why I want to press the button. I think it’s a desire to be everything, or to have those experiences I missed out of growing up.

    It’s all at odds with my sexuality, which developed to be pretty conventional, but I think that’s just because it’s convenient and easily reenforced. If I pressed myself, I could probably be pansexual. However, I have a partner now who’s great, so I’m not really interested in experimenting.

    I know I conflate gender and sex at some points here. Sorry for the ramble.

    Thank you for being kind 😊😊😊😊



  • This is a really excellent pastebin! I sort of posted my comment facetiously (I present as cis, but I identify as nonbinary.)

    But, it’s not totally untrue. I’ve been asked by trans friends, “when are you going to come out?” too many times not to wonder if I am somehow deep, deep in the closet.

    If I could, I would be both, and change appearance at will. I know some of this is that non binary part of me, and some of this is simply that I find women attractive. I’m the sort of obsessive person who wants to become whatever I find interesting. It’s rooted somewhat in objectivication, not so much personal validation.

    I don’t really feel dysphoric with my body, but I’d love that button.

    So I’ll continue to lurk, and maybe one day I’ll realize I was in the closet all along!