In what reality is it important to check someone’s card. You can ask anybody wearing a shirt what their favorite song is or if they’ve seen them live. That’s actually acceptable, because you’re interested in their subjective experiences.
Publically announcing to someone that you want to out-group them over a trivial matter is not.
What if she was a man instead?
The same holds true? Can’t be that hard not to be an asshole.
In what reality is it important to check someone’s card. You can ask anybody wearing a shirt what their favorite song is or if they’ve seen them live. That’s actually acceptable, because you’re interested in their subjective experiences. Publically announcing to someone that you want to out-group them over a trivial matter is not.