You assume there’s lots of chemicals, but did you check? The process of canning food doesn’t necessarily require a lot of chemicals: a lot of canned food is cooked in the can, after it’s sealed, which kills most of the microbes that might spoil the food and make you sick. And because it’s sealed, no microbes can get in, either.

Makes you long for golden parachutes that don’t open when their 737 Max loses an engine or two

I gotta have my naturally sparkling Perri-air

The grapes used to make the juice you buy at the store are not the same grapes that are used to make actual wine. The person who wrote that recipe doesn’t know what wine should taste like, and I wouldn’t trust that recipe.

The grape juice you buy for drinking is mainly made from Concord grapes, which won’t make something that tastes in any way like real wine. You need grapes like Cabernet or Pinot Noir (for example). These aren’t just the names of wines, they’re the names of the varieties of grapes used.

Distilled water is safe to drink, as long as you have a balanced diet that includes all the vitamins and minerals your body needs.

The claim that it “leeches” those minerals out of you isn’t supported by any real evidence.

I used to drink distilled water at home for years with no side effects.

Wouldn’t be rare for someone in Québec to ask “Comment tu t’appelles?” but it’s generally understood that this is “colloquial” French, whereas “Comment t’appelles-tu?” is the correct way to say and write it in French.

It’s generally better to learn the “correct” language before you start applying colloquialisms.