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You’re not getting an objective answer to the “did most of the Gtalk/Facebook messenger users even know they were using xmpp, or care?” from lemmy/kbin/fediverse users in 2023, as most here likely do care a wee bit more of the technical and privacy matters than the average joe.
However, I used XMPP personally via integrating it to my irc (weechat+bitlbee) so I could get all the IM services under one interface. I’m doing the same now with Matrix: I have irc, whatsapp, my smart home messages etc all forwarded to matrix.
We also built XMPP chat at our company which I was working for back in the day. I think it was called Jabber back then. Biggest drawback in my opinion was the lack of encryption out of the box - encryption should’ve been more integrated to XMPP from the get go, instead of being an extension.
XMPP/Jabber is once again a thing that could’ve been great for everyone. We could have one singular decentralized technology to IM which would’ve been open to all and interoperable. If approx 20% of the world’s population has a google account and 35% facebook account, at least every third person in the world would’ve been reachable via XMPP. And if it would’ve reached critical mass, it would’ve likely been even bigger.
https://github.com/mautrix/whatsapp
Yeah, I’ve not touched whatsapp in years