You should try to move away from chasing goals, especially goals which are dictated by others. But even with your own goals, keep in mind that achieving a goal means little in comparison to the road there.
Imagine you dream of buying a house, or big car, whatever status symbol is your jam. You work your ass off for decades, are possibly miserable all the time and then achieve your goal. Do you think this will change anything meaningful? Sparks of joy never last, so take them when they come, try to be happy about smaller things in life and stop chasing grand goals. Embrace the present, not the future. You live now and only now. Always.
Interesting hypothesis, would you mind citing some sources for those claims? I never heard of spez being CIA or any of the other rather huge claims you make.