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For me personally I don’t have much control over my empathy. Sure I can look at someone and glean their emotional state based on conscious guessing, but my “affective empathy” as you put it, is more my brain subconsciously picking up on their emotional state and then sharing it.
For most emotions, including anger, it’s not targeted. Not until I actively participate in the emotion. It’s also not something that applies to everyone and every situation, with my own personal emotions easily overriding the empathetic emotions.
Of course, everyone experiences empathy their own way.
I really like the way my current company handles things. Aside from annual raises that take effect July 1st (currently waiting for approval, but if that happens after July 1st the raises are retroactive to the first), we have open bars (free drinks) every other month, company wide lunch events a few times a month, other general events (had a Juneteenth and Pride event this month). Oh, and all these events are paid time (you still have to hit your KPIs though).
A fairly well stocked kitchen (you could make your own lunch if you wanted to), coffee and espresso machines, sparkling water / flavored water one as well, snacks, the whole deal. Yes it’s not perfect but I’ve been happy so far.