When I quit my supermarket job after getting my accounting degree my manager tried to convince me to stay, saying they had plans to promote me into management and eventually I could work my way into a head office position.

Umm, no thanks, I think I’ll take the job that I’ve been working towards getting for years.

And now I know what rizz is short for! Never knew.

I’m cool, no one can tell me otherwise.

Is that what chemtrails is? Something the government sprays over citizens to control us?

They do to cheetahs

We added some small wood pieces under the front feet to do this. Solved a lot of marriage problems with this one simple trick that actually works. Number 2 will shock you.

Risk free acid trip

Move to the Southern Hemisphere. It’s in the middle of Summer here.

Then you can sing about snow falling and fireplaces while sweating your balls off.

No Cairns is not a high risk area for bush fires (what we call wildfires). The heat this year might be horrible but fires shouldn’t be an issue that far into the tropics on the coastline

Maybe it’s different in the USA, but I’ve travelled a lot and don’t think I ever remember a long haul flight without multiple babies and young children. It’s just a fact of travelling.

I recently did a 16hr flight solo and the other 3 seats in my row of 4 were parents and a toddler.

That’s just part of flying and you should plan for it (noise cancelling headphones, sleeping tablets, ear plugs).