Badabinski

Yep, sharing your trauma should be an exercise in trust and intimacy. People should not share their trauma with others just to provoke a specific emotional reaction. I also have some second-hand experience with what you mention. One of my SO’s parents is a hideously narcissistic person who would trauma dump all over my SO to invalidate any feelings or concerns my SO might have. That, combined with gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse and neglect, plus some physical and sexual abuse set my SO up with a fuckton of trauma to process. They also had a hard time with hearing of other people’s traumas, although for them it was in more specific circumstances, rather than generally.

I like to think that most people trauma dumping are victims who aren’t creating another iteration of the victim/abuser cycle (I base that off of nothing but my own hopes, I have no numbers), but there are definitely people who have weaponized it. I’m sorry to hear that you went through that :/ hopefully you’re free from those toxic people. After my SO’s parent kicked my SO out (a horrible night, but one of the best nights of their life in retrospect), my SO moved in with me, did a whole lot of EMDR therapy, and has managed to heal from the damage caused by their parent. Hopefully you can find a treatment, process, or mindstate to help you, since it sounds like you still have some wounds from what was done to you.

Having a frank and vulnerable discussion of your trauma with someone you have emotional intimacy and trust with us incredibly important and can help the healing process. I’d highly encourage people to do that.

However, I think the term “trauma dumping” often refers to the practice of sharing your trauma with people who you don’t have a close relationship with, or with people who you haven’t interacted with long enough to generate trust.

I am a former trauma dumper, and I dumped my trauma all over a person who I should not have. That person turned out to be a very untrustworthy person. Their knowledge of my wounds allowed them to do some incredibly harmful things to me over the course of an eleven months relationship. I managed to escape, but it was a bad move, and I learned to become more careful about who I shared that information with.

Plus, there is always more to you than your trauma. It certainly doesn’t feel that way when you’re really stuck in it. Hell, me saying that may have just made some people very, very angry. I got really angry when my therapist said that to me, because it felt like she was minimizing what I went through.

I came to understand that she meant I was an adult with passions and a whole life, and that adult is what I should share with people. By letting my adult self live in the present, I became more able to take care of my trauma using the inner child metaphor. My wounded inner child is precious and deserves care, and I share that with people who will appreciate that. The adult that I am also deserves to live and see the world, and deserves to be recognized by friends and family. Trauma dumping inverts that.

People stop getting to see the awesome person you grew into because humans are wired to pay attention to wounded children, be they physical or metaphorical. Some people will be tender, some will be dismissive, and a few people will take advantage.

So yeah, please share your trauma when it makes sense to, with people you love and trust. If there’s a mutual understanding, then any sadness they feel will likely be offset by the warm knowledge that they’ve helped you make it through another day and maybe heal a bit more. That’s what is shown in this meme. Let your adult self live your life the rest of the time, and use that adult to give the kid the care they needed but didn’t get.

(Wow, now that I’m rereading this post, I feel a strong sense of irony. Like, it’s not a trauma dump, but also nobody asked for me to write a fucking essay about a meme lol)

Huh, interesting! Sounds like it’ll be perfect for OP.

There’s always Termux and whatever you can install there. That sounds silly, but when I download from my phone, I do it using aria2c in Termux. It works great, and everything (AFAIK) is FOSS. zsh + fzf history completion/file finding (<c-T> is a godsend) makes it possible to use a CLI on a phone without going crazy. Only really works well if you’re already comfortable with the command line, which is definitely a big if. It works really well for me, but I’m one of those weirdos that doesn’t have a graphical file manager installed on their computers.

I tip 20% or $5 on takeout orders, whatever is larger (provided nothing goes terribly wrong). I have the means, and I remember how much I fucking hated working in retail. I depend on these people to feed me and I appreciate that they’re willing to do it (especially with how poorly they get treated at times). If I can make someone’s day better then it’s worth it to me.

That being said, I hate tip culture and wish that the laws in my country around tipping would change. This is getting off topic now (since I think that the people doing takeout orders aren’t subject to this), but it’s absurd that we let restraunts pay $3.50 an hour if someone is making the rest of the minimum wage in tips. If I tip someone, I want it to be because I really appreciate what they did. I don’t want to be paying their wages, they should be receiving a livable wage no matter what. I know that refusing to tip won’t change that, so I just go along with it.

I’ve also said nice things about it, and it’s just because I’m happy that I can look shit up again. The results are relevant, the blogspam and listicles get stuck in their own sections that I can safely ignore, and I don’t get constantly tracked by Google when I search for random shit. It feels like using Google way back in the day before enshittification.

Sodium-ion batteries appear promising. Like, the energy density by weight of the current market offerings is absolutely too low to be useful for vehicles, but there’s hope that can be improved in a relatively short timescale. Prices should be pretty good when factories finish tooling up, and most chemistries use no rare earth metals. Current densities seem great for grid storage, which is where hydrogen has the most potential right now (imo).

I still like the idea of hydrogen for some forms of transportation (freight trains, container ships, possibly aircraft if energy density could be increased or aircraft weight decreased somehow) and as a strategic emergency energy reserve. It’d be great to have more grid resilience as the environment continues to decay. I just worry about the energy costs that come with transporting hydrogen for cars and individual transport. Pipelines seem like they’d be challenging, and trucking it around seems a bit wasteful. In-situ generation would be ideal if power and water are available and hydrolysis can be made more efficient and compact, but that’s not possible everywhere.

I dunno. I’m glad it’s not my job to figure out the actual energy cost of everything, but I’m really hoping grid-scale sodium-ion batteries will become a reality sooner rather than later, and that we’ll see sodium-ion batteries in cars within the next 10-15 years.

I think the OP clearly doesn’t like that they have this reaction (as someone else pointed out, and as you acknowledged). I think I understand why you might think this came from a lack of empathy. You like kids, what could be wrong with them acting like kids do? Sure, they’re loud, but it’s not that big of a deal! This person must have no empathy, because if they did, they’d be fine with it. People with no empathy are psychopaths, so OP must be a psychopath.

I think you’re already starting to see what’s wrong with that line of reasoning, which I really appreciate. Just to restate it here, the OP probably doesn’t hate children, they just have problems with overstimulation (possibly misophonia or autism spectrum stuff). Not everyone has experienced overstimulation, but I can assure you that at best, it makes you reaaally cranky. Feelings of rage aren’t surprising to me. If the OP wants, there are coping strategies and things they can do to help themselves in certain circumstances, but they’re not wrong or bad. Their brain just works differently from other folks, and this is one of the effects of that.

It’s not society’s job to fix this (because kids have the right to be kids, and kids are kinda loud sometimes, even if you’re trying to teach them to be mindful of their volume), but I think that it’s generally good to try and show some empathy, or at least ask questions in good faith if you don’t understand well enough to empathize.

I’d implore you to communicate with a bit more intent. Calling someone a psychopath is a pretty serious thing to do! Did you intend to hurt someone’s feelings that much? Or were you just confused and a bit angry, and came to that conclusion in haste? There’s a person on the other side of this conversation who has feelings, and they’re asking here for help. They’re trying to improve themselves, and I don’t think you’d want to say that type of thing to someone who’s just trying to live a better life.

Yep, if we could go back to having 1-2 streaming services that charged a reasonable fee, I feel like TV and movie piracy significantly drop. It was so nice being able to just, like, fucking watch a movie and not have to check which of the eleventy-billion streaming services it’s on.