plp - pa’ la pinga, to the dick, fuck it (as in whatever)

genius!! thank you very much

Asking people online if your partner is gaslighting you is serious concern for your situation, whether her behaviors were actually gaslighting or not. Your intuition is telling you something is wayyyyy off. Also, that you had to ask us and not close friends, family, or her herself is another major red flag. Either you are socially isolated and have no one to ask or you are protecting her reputation because you know that those behaviors would be judged quite poorly by people that care about you.

As someone that has dated something like that before, I know my words will not mean much to you. You will undoubtedly rationalize her behavior as her being justifiably triggered, reacting to childhood trauma, making a good point, cute because that’s how she communicates love, etc. Regardless, make a note of what everyone here is telling you. Her behaviors were not acceptable at all. There is no justification for them, and that you said it was the usual is troubling.

The best anyone can do for you now is be a voice of reason and direct you to learn about psychological and emotional abuse so you can see it and decide for yourself. Here are 2 resources that I found helpful when I was in your situation:

• Save Your Sanity is a series of videos/podcasts on being in a relationship with difficult people. She has all sorts of topics that are relevant, including how to spot gaslighting.

• The other is the book Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist by Ramani Durvasula. I like this one in particular because it has a questionnaire in it you can take to help you notice of you’re in a toxic relationship. Taking that questionnaire was the catalyst that started my escape. Check it out and be truthful. If she’s okay and this was just a unique experience, then there is nothing to worry about and the book will help you confirm that.

I highly recommend that you don’t tell you partner you are looking into this. Ask anyone that’s been in an abusive relationship. Shoot, make another AskLemmy post asking this. Telling a potential abuser/narcissist/manipulator that you are on to them is a HUGE mistake. Instead, look into it on your own during your free time. If she accidentally catches you, say you ran into this online and it seemed interesting. A healthy partner won’t even think about it anymore. If she starts with an interrogation, gets upset, or suddenly becomes the best girlfriend ever, that’s manipulation.

Certainly, she will commit more odd and questionable behaviors in the future. I urge you to maintain a secret log of her behaviors so that you can stay sane and notice. Please feel free to reach out. Don’t stay isolated. You can make another post, and you can even contact me directly via Matrix (see my profile). Good luck!

It’s true that the place may be dangerous. However, if it were, (1) you’d think OP would have known that already and not made the mistake of letting her walk in alone, and (2) she didn’t have to start with the absurd questioning in the middle of the night. She could have waited for a time when both of them were more mentally available.

I’ve been in dangerous cities and situations. You either address issues in the moment or if it’s no longer an immediate issue, whenever it’s a good time. They sleep in separate rooms, yet was standing over him in the kiddle of the night, then once he woke up, she started with an angry guilt trip disguised as fear. That was 100% her punishing him so that he wouldn’t ever not make her the priority at all times again.

plus, he’s definitely taking an adhd stimulant since Fox News et al. has been accusing Biden of doing that.

thanks!

So the new President just picks whomever they want to be Vice President? It doesn’t automatically become the Speaker of the House? Also, is there a confirmation process that the VP nominee has to complete similar to Supreme Court Justices?

What a useless deterrent

I bet they already have the conspiracy theories prepped for when Trump dies. It would be interesting for someone to make a Reddit post asking for MAGA to share their theories that someone is trying to terminate Trump, so that when he eventually passes from natural causes, we could pull that up as relevant info to see why no one did anything beforehand to prevent the attempt or if the conspiracy that emerges wasn’t stated before it happened.

I would start watching Fox News just to get the petty sense of revenge from watching them shit bricks over an all PoC cabinet.

Then keep digging, Watson

If whatever learning meant +1 brain complexity then it we would never catch up because it would be the infinite hotel. example: learning one unit of brain complexity adds one unit of brain complexity.

if learning meant < +1 brain complexity, then the next limiters would be brain space and time. example: learning one unit of brain complexity slightly complicates an already existing complex.

if learning meant > +1 brain complexity, then the more you learn, the farther you get from understanding the whole thing. example: learning one unit of brain complexity requires the addition of another unit of brain complexity plus its relationship with other complexes.

I think most female to male abuse comes in the form of emotional coercion. So, something like, if the guy doesn’t have sex with her how she wants, there will be consequences. Sometimes they’re explicit, such as when she actually says it openly. Other times, she communicates it implicitly for plausible deniability. For example, every time a guy is not interested in the moment, she does something that hurts him soon after. This could be from throwing a fit about some regular chore, to shaming them to their friends, to actively seeking attention from or cheating with other men.

I knew a girl that would tell everyone she was being abused before her boyfriend even knew it was happening. She would ask everyone to not say anything because she was scared he would abuse her more. She would also do things to make him angry in public so people would think he had an anger problem. People would start treating the boyfriend like shit, so he would start being isolated, which allowed her to abuse him more. If the boyfriend came out seeking help, no one would believe him and gaslight him further. The girl even went as far as telling relationship therapists that he was abusing her so that he had no escape while she now how documentation that he was abusing her. The girl was a completely deranged psychopath that did this with all her boyfriends. Of course, her friends were similar. One of her friend’s boyfriends committed suicide after they had an argument. The girl then milked that for pity points every chance she got.

I really advise everyone to learn about relationship abuse and vulnerable narcissists. They’re incredibly sneaky and brutally perverse, and anyone can fall for one. It takes a while for even trained relationship abuse therapists to catch on to them. Look it up on YouTube. There are many therapists and survivors that share their stories and guidance.

I would use the translator on my phone to understand 👍

I remember hearing that American service members are by far the best fed of all countries since WWII.

Along with resource richness, I think it’s important to note how USA’s geography also makes it extraordinarily safe from invasion. It is flanked by two oceans with die hard allies as neighbors to the North and South. Anyone that wants to invade USA would have to make an impossible amphibious landing or super-blitz through Canada or Mexico. Both of those options are nearly impossible. The entire world vs North America might not even he able to pull that off. Then, once the invaders get to the continental USA, they would have to deal the most possibly armed insurgency due to the culture’s obsession with firearms. So, the only way the USA could be militarily taken over is by near complete destruction of its population via long-range missiles. This disregards the USA’s vastly superior military power. The USA has more aircraft carriers than the next 7 countries combined and each one is technologically superior as well.

With that in mind, the USA didn’t have to direct considerable economic efforts to protecting its homeland, while knowing that it’s economic production would go mostly unharmed. In contrast, the Soviet’s were scorching their own production centers just so the enemy wouldn’t acquire them.

Additionally, the USA has the most expansive freight rail system and the Mississippi River allows for easy and efficient shipping of resources, especially from the food production area (eg the Bread Basket). So not only can the USA produce lots of food without having to worry much about protecting that, but it can also easily transport the food to other locations efficiently. When it comes to food and defense, the USA is overpowered af.

My fave internet initials are IANAL, which I pronounce as “I anal”.

What if we count all animals, vertebrates and invertebrates?

Username checks out

Can you elaborate on mammals that don’t menstruate? I’ve never heard about that.

@haui_lemmy@lemmy.giftedmc.com, I thought you might like this comment 🏴🙂