“Dude” isn’t a slur though, it’s used as a term of familiarity or commonality, and really often as an exclamation like “wow” or “whoa,” and is entirely non-gendered in our present culture. Someone who decides they don’t want anyone to use such a common, basic, and genuinely benign word toward them is welcome to ask everyone they meet to not use it, but is going to be disappointed a lot.

The choice here is whether to hold on to a narrow, rigid, gendered definition of this word, put up walls with lots of very well-meaning and inclusive people, and put all those people in the “willfully ignorant ass” box, or whether to consider how your thoughts, fears, and anxieties about your identity and your place in society might be heightening your sensitivities to microaggressions to the point where you might be creating them where they don’t actually exist