Thinkbubble: “She’s probably just being nice” Drawing of two people with long hair and boobs kissing one laying on the other. The thinking dots connect to both.

  • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 months ago

    “Her reciprocating my feelings? No way that’s possible. I want it so badly, but it’s not something that happens to me. People just don’t love me back. That’s not how things work. How could anyone possibly fall for me?” (｡╯︵╰｡)

    Edit:

    I remember reading something to this effect in a story about a trans egg. It crushed me inside in a way that nothing else had. I’ve read stories of doubt and uncertainty, but nothing else had captured how attainable experiences can get blacklisted from your imagination. When you go so many years hating yourself, too scared and uncertain in your own identity to ever even try, you stop believing that love will ever happen.

    I’ve worked through a lot of my self hatred, but I still struggle to believe that anyone will ever want me. I’m the one who wants; not an object of want. It hurts less if I give up hope, but rejecting the possibility only makes it less likely. I could ignore relationships for a longer time than other things I craved, but it’s probably time to finally teardown this latest shield of false apathy.

    • celeste@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
      0·
      2 months ago

      Picture of two lesbians with a lesbian flag on the left and a trans-lesbian flag on the right (so You know they're lesbians) in a field holding hands (as not to fall) while bending away from each other. In the middle a girlkisser edit saying: "You like kissing girls don't you"

      From my personal experience the sapphic community (at least in G*rmany) is quite open to trans women/trans people in general.

        • celeste@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
          0·
          2 months ago

          Oh I thought because you mentioned the egg experience. Anyways your brainworms arw lying. You do what you really want to!

          • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
            0·
            2 months ago

            The egg gave me brainworms, but the brain worms don’t subsist on dysphoria anymore because they’d starve lol. Thanks though! I know they’re lying and I’ll make sure the lose uwu

  • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
    0·
    2 months ago

    Gonna say as someone who has had sex so as not to hurt the other person’s feelings and then felt like shit right after, and then became paranoid other relationships are doing the same thing- this hits hard.

      • Gustephan@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        You ever start replying to disagree with a comment and then realize the things you’ve normalized in your romantic past are a bit fucked up? That’s where I’m at right now

        I’ve had sex plenty of times I didn’t really want to in the past. It goes like

        She’s horny and wants to fuck. I am not

        If I say no it’s a self esteem meltdown

        If I say yes it’s a bit of a workout that ends in cuddling, which I always want

        It’s just always felt better for my life to be an on demand dick machine than somebody who can say no

  • Blastboom Strice@mander.xyz
    0·
    2 months ago

    Hey, I had seen that meme around here some weeks ago, but I lost it and was searching it recently. Thank you, gonna share it with my friend now:)